Out of Sight, Out of Mind...

Today I register for my final month of practice. Only a couple of weeks ago I felt as if the end was so very far away, and now suddenly, I feel it looming, as if it's shadow is approaching and beginning to cover my toes in Samasthitih. Already, so many of the people that I care about, those who really help to make these trips as special as they are, have left. They've gone home, or continued on in their travels. As I sit in the lobby waiting to practice, their memories of Mysore are fading slightly, becoming filmy and grainy, turning into a blur of early mornings and bowls of rice. And my own memory of them becomes fuzzy around the edges, smudged by the days that continue on, the practice, and the focus.

This forgetting is inevitable, but it is also necessary. It's an important part of being able to go home and re-connect to our lives and families; it allows for re-entry into the real world. And the forgetting will be an integral part of returning; letting go of everything and everyone we love in order to return and fully immerse ourselves once again in practice here. The process is slow, and often painful, but little by little we detach - we have to, it's the only way we'll ever be able to do it again. And this is not to say that home or Mysore or the people in between are gone completely. It is the longing, not the loving, that subsides.

Goodbyes have always been hard for me and as I said my first few this week, I've tried not to think about the ones coming up that will be the most difficult. In this space, where we are so incredibly vulnerable, it is very easy to form fast friends and forge lifelong relationships. There are people here who I love as deeply as my own family, and leaving them will be incredibly challenging. But just as I always carry my practice, the energy of the shala, the love for my husband and family and home, these people too will be with me.

Sometimes we must put those who are not with us out of our minds as much as possible, but we know, and trust that they know, that they're always in our hearts.