Look on the Bright Side

Another week has passed and it seems like it has come and gone so quickly. Time feels as though it moves at a snail's pace here, but at the same time the days and weeks are suddenly behind you before you realize.

This week marked the Indian festival of Diwali - a celebration of triumph of good over evil, light over darkness. And what better way to mark the occasion than by huge fireworks displays?! Every night as the yoga students headed to bed, Indian families joined together outside of their homes and lit fuse after fuse. There were small pops and huge bangs and fireworks that shot out of cones and ones that you could swing around on ropes. It made the fourth of July feel like child's play. And while Diwali, like many holidays at home, seems to revolve around the laughter and excitement of all the things that are occurring in the streets, the holiday has spiritual significance as well. This "festival of lights" refers not just to the pyrotechnic displays, but to the celebration of the inner light residing in all of us. It is a way to remember that our strength and beauty can develop into something that has the ability to overcome darkness in all of its forms.

This seemed to be the theme this week, as in conference today, my teacher, Sharath, discussed the meaning of the word "guru." Commonly translated as teacher, the actual breakdown of the word means "one who dispels darkness", and it is through devotion to your teacher and the teachings, that you will find a guide in this journey from dark to light. Today we were reminded that there is a brightness within each one of us, and as that develops we, in turn, allow ourselves to turn away from the dark - from the negativity that accompanies greed and anger and ego. But for most of us, finding this brightness and allowing it to shine is challenging. Sometimes we need a little help, even if we're afraid to ask for it. It is a long and difficult process - it can take a lifetime (some would argue longer) - but with help we can accomplish it, and along the way there is so much to learn and absorb, so much knowledge and wisdom to be gained.

I love this notion of inner light - and always have. Most of the faiths that I have studied use the analogy of inner light in some way - and I love it that yoga, as well as its teachers, carry on this tradition. It provides a connection between all of us, no matter what race or religion, age or gender. We are all on the path to finding our personal spark of light, working hard in order to allow it to well up within us, and then once it is developed, allowing it to shine brightly, emanating as a beacon that perhaps, with much discipline and devotion, might inspire someone else to brush aside the darkness with their own small, but brightly burning flame. And even though our paths may diverge and there may be many stops along the way, we are all beginning from the same place and traveling to the same destination. We're all making our way through this world just trying to look on the bright side.

Happy Diwali to everyone. May your days be filled with laughter and joy, your nights with peace and comfort and may your inner light shine more brightly than you ever thought possible.

Settling In and Slowing Down

The alarm went off at 4:15 this morning. Even though it sounds crazy, I kind of love getting up at that time of the morning. It's probably one of the only times that the streets in India are quiet, when there aren't very many people out, except for the other insane yoga students. In this country where things often seem to be in utter chaos, the relative calm and stillness of early morning is even more apparent.

It soothing. It's comforting. It's contagious.

Today was my second practice since I arrived in Mysore. Both have been led Primary Series, with Sharath wandering amidst the columns and rows of multicoloured mats counting us through each vinyasa and pose in Sanskrit. Encouraging a slow and steady connection of breath and movement, I've found myself savouring these mornings of led practice with my teacher. In the past I've often found the slow speed of Sharath's count a little bit torturous, forcing me to hold poses that I would normally try to rush out of before completing the five full breaths, or sustaining inhalations or exhalations for much longer than I would if I were practicing on my own. However, after the last couple of months, in which I often found myself frantic with the pace of my regular life, this slowly rolling cadence feels like a perfectly tuned heartbeat; a constant and life sustaining rhythm that propels me forward while creating space in body, breath and mind. It's amazing, and I'm so grateful for the room that he is creating for me, and helping me to create, both on and off my mat.

When I leave the shala, I'm trying to take this lesson with me into my day. I routinely hear his voice in my head, mimicking his continual question from class: “what's your hurry?”

What is my hurry? That's just it. Here, I don't have a reason to rush or panic or anticipate. Here, all that matters is the moment: what you feel like doing right now, where you feel like eating, if you feel like you'd rather take a nap. Life moves at a leisurely pace, and I firmly believe that, for me, coming to Mysore is a way to help me separate from my tendency to take on more than I should; my tendency to overbook and overextend myself and convince myself and everyone around me that I can handle it. Mysore is my wake up call. Better yet, Mysore is my get some rest call.

Now, if only I could convince my jet-lag, time-change induced insomnia to agree.

Everything in time.

The coconut stand:

a great place to take a few minutes to sit, drink, and talk with friends.

Before Packing Up; After Setting Out

Before:

It's hard to believe that in less than 48 hours I will be walking down a breezeway, boarding a plane, and finding myself on the 28 hour trip that will land me in Mysore, India. There will be DC traffic and airport security, cramped seats and likely crying babies. There will be a layover in Paris, a perilous midnight car ride and a process of re-introduction. More importantly, though, there will be goodbyes and “see-you-soon”s and more than likely a few nervous tears as I let go of my life here – setting it on a shelf for the next three months.

This adventure isn't easy, and sometimes it's downright awful, but after my experience in Mysore last year, I feel like returning isn't even a choice – beyond my control or desires, this is a trip I HAVE to make.

Year in and year out Ashtangis from all over the world converge on tiny Gokulam, the Mysore suburb the Jois family calls home. We come looking for something bigger and stronger and beyond ourselves. We come to learn from the source, to find connection to tradition and lineage. We come as singles and pairs, families and friends; we come anxious and comfortable, worried and elated. But no matter how we arrive, we leave changed, and it is for that reason that so many of us will make the journey 3, 8, or 12 times over. For us, the progress and evolution that is made, the internal and external work accomplished, is compelling enough for us, and those who care for and about us, to warrant the sacrifices required to leave homes, jobs and families for weeks or months at a time. And this is what I try to remember as I dig through my belongings, finding all I think I'll need for the next three months and pack it into my suitcase while my depressed pooch looks on. I pack up the necessities of my life, including bits and pieces that remind me of all the people, places and things that I love, but am leaving behind.

While I know I'm better prepared mentally for this trip, there is still some trepidation. And as the day that seemed so far off for so long suddenly stands up huge and looming in front of me, my very nonchalant attitude is quickly turning to panic.

I JUST NEED TO BREATHE!!!

Which is precisely what I'm going halfway around the world to do. And what I need to remember is that when I get back to this life, pull it down off of its shelf and dust it off I will find new beauty in it. I'll discover things that I've been overlooking, and see it with fresh perspective, because it will be different. Because I will be different. And that change can be a spark from which to ignite the world.

After:

It's been less than 12 hours since I hauled by crazy heavy suitcase from the car and into my serene Anokhi Garden room, and already I'm feeling at home. It's hot and noisy and everything here is just as I remember: the cows in the street, the cacophony of honking horns, the chatting around the coconut stand. I can already feel the change in my level of comfort on this trip. The way I'm adapting back, continuing right where I left off last year at this time. This morning I hopped on the back of a scooter without a second thought, sought and found a place I'd never been to on only one try, and generally spent my first morning getting more accomplished than I thought possible.

Things are coming together so quickly. This morning, as I came out of my room to get some breakfast, a friend from last year came in from the other room calling my name with a big smile. A quick hug, a hello, and suddenly my biggest anxiety was alleviated - he offered me a place to stay! I am officially not homeless! I'll be staying with him for the entire time in our perfect 2 bed, 2 bath flat. And it has a kitchen! It has no bowls or utensils to really speak of, but it's a kitchen nonetheless and I am a happy girl. It's 2 minutes from the shala, it's big and clean and bright and is going to be fantastic. And now it's eerily calm. I've got nothing really to worry about. How is that even possible? It's the magic of Mysore.

Tomorrow I will register at the shala for my Friday start of practice, Saturday I'll move, but other than that, it feels as though I'm easily settling in - and it's a wonderful feeling. And of course there are things and people that I miss like crazy when I'm here, which makes it so challenging, but once you're here all that reasoning you did before you came just takes up residence in your heart and you don't just know you're following the right path, you feel it, with your whole self.