Getting Ready

The time is quickly approaching. In 10 days I'll make my way to the airport in Bangalore, board a plane to Paris, eat a croissant, board another plane, this time to DC, and arrive...

Home.

It's a big word to me, maybe larger than it's ever been before.

When B. and I first moved from Hamilton to Baltimore we spent days, months, perhaps even years, referring to the places we grew up as home. Even now, nearly 9 years later, I sometimes find myself referring to Lindsay, Toronto or Hamilton as home, despite the fact that the houses, friends, and family members that surrounded me when I lived there have moved on.

For the past four months, Mysore has been my home. It's been the place where I have eaten and slept (or not slept) and cried. It's the place where I've felt lonely and scared and the place where I've felt loved and comforted. It's the place where I've been discovering myself, planning my future, living my life. As I prepare to pack up, putting away things for my next visit, I have to admit I'm a little sad. The people that I've become close to and the weeks I've spent here have profoundly impacted me and I know that when I return to the U.S. I won't be the same person I was when I left. But I also know that it's time. Part of making these trips is the leaving - the going home - in a sense it's just as important as coming in the first place. Going home forces you to delve deep into what Sharath calls the four D's - devotion, dedication, discipline and determination. Can you allow this practice to be similarly transformative when you're faced with all the distractions of everyday life? Can you stay focused; maintain clarity of thought and purpose?

For some people the answer is no. And that's okay. For others, it's a definite yes.

I think, for me, there will be joy in the work to make this happen. I am preparing to meet this challenge head on, and believe that the pleasure of a community of friends, the comfort of familiar surroundings, and the loving encouragement of a supportive spouse are what will help to propel me forward when I arrive home. And I'm so looking forward to experiencing it.

It's bittersweet to approach the end of this journey. But we all have to leave here - we all have to go home. And it's the people, and the energy of the shala and the practice, that make this place feel like home. Luckily, I can take those things with me, at least in small part.

The rest is just geography.